Early tomorrow morning my dad is getting a Catheter Ablation to treat his atrial fibrillation (basically he has an irregular heartbeat that can lead to some scary stuff).
Needless to say I’ve been a bit of a mess the past few weeks. The girls were sick for several days and it’s been insane at work.
I feel like a supernova of anxiety.
Anyway, I wrote a poem because that’s what I do when I feel like this and I figured I share it with you tonight.
My dad sees the gold in Red
In the most black and white way
I don’t use “Love” in poetry
But there is no stronger word or person than it or him
And it took adulthood to see that I am who I am because of both
I don’t believe in time travel
But if I did, I’d revise a few things
There are romance novels and family photos in his tennis room and if asked to describe him in three things that would be it
It took adulthood to realize the steadiness of your heartbeat has nothing to do with the strength of your heart
He loves my mom like oxygen
And with a deep breath he taught me to settle for nothing less
He never could understand my anxiety but seconds before I walked down the aisle he pretended to forget he had to lead the way and I was so mad I forgot to panic
The first time I cried that day was in his arms
My dad says he hates seeing his girls in pain
But with his hand on my face he saw me through the worst of mine
It took motherhood to love the way he showed me
My dad loves in a whisper
That feels like a roar
And it took adulthood to listen between the lines